I am writing this bleary eyed from being woken up last night by my 4 year old. Her 3 am tantrum: sleeping in her own room was “no fun.” It also included the random complaint (seeing as how it’s mid-January) “I hate the summer!  There’s too much mosquitoes!”

Sleep.  Glorious sleep.  Chances are you’re not getting enough of it.  One of the most common topics I discuss with parents is sleep.   Parents, babies, children and teens all need their sleep.  I find when we’re all sleeping well, my household just seems to run better.  But when we’re not…well, let’s not even go there. 

Newborn and Infant Sleep

There’s not much sleep consistency in the newborn months.  Typically newborns will sleep about 16-17 hours per day, in short intervals.  For the first few months, you pretty much have to follow their lead, which often revolves around their feeding schedule.  Once they hit the 6-month mark, though, they’re physiologically capable of a sleep schedule.  You will often see a napping and nighttime pattern.  But there are a few things you can do to “encourage” that pattern.

1. Keep a consistent routine.  Make bedtime a specific time each night, with a little ritual of bath or lotion, quiet music, dimmed lights and pajamas.
2. Put the baby down AWAKE.  If your baby can fall asleep on his/her own, you are golden.  When babies rely on their parents to rock or feed them to sleep, they aren’t able to soothe themselves.  Then, when they wake in the middle of the night, they need you to put them back to sleep. 
3. A pacifier, thumb or “lovey” is often a helpful way for babies to self soothe.
4. It’s ok to start sleep training at 6 months.  I recommend doing some research or talking to your pediatrician about the different methods (Ferber or Weissbluth, to name a few).  Most methods only work if you commit to following them.

Toddler and Preschooler Sleep

1. Maintain your consistent routine.  Bath, books and bed at the same time every night (weekends included).
2. The average toddler needs about 11-14 hours, while preschoolers need about 10-13.  Of course, some children may need a bit more or less, but not more than 1-2 hours difference. 
3. Don’t force the nap.  Some kids drop the nap before 2 years old, while others are napping until the first day of kindergarten.  Follow their cues and if nap time becomes a fight, it may be time to drop it. 
4. Give your child the gift of independence by sleeping in their own bed.  Bringing your child into your bed in the middle of the night (or allowing him to fall asleep in your bed) is nothing more than a band-aid on a broken arm.   Everyone gets better rest when sleeping independently.

Grade-schoolers and Sleep

1. The average 6-13 year old needs 9-11 hours of sleep.  Their bodies are growing and their days are busy! 
2. Maintain a consistent bedtime routine.   (I repeat this for every age group, because it’s so important!)  Same bedtime weekday/weekends, and a calming routine before bed.
3. Reading at bedtime.  If your child is just learning or struggles with reading, then bedtime is NOT the time for him to be reading.  It is the time for you to read to your child.  Anything you read together including chapter books, picture books, magazines and nonfiction reference books (world records, LEGOs and sports are some of our favorites) is educationally beneficial and soothing before bed. 
4. Screens off an hour before bedtime.  The light from the ipad, computer or phone sends a message to the brain to stop the release of Melatonin, our natural sleep-promoting hormone.  Who needs that!?  Not to mention the mental stimulation these screens cause.

Teenagers and Sleep

1. It’s true that teenagers’ circadian rhythms are set to stay up later at night and wake up later.  Unfortunately, in most school districts the middle/high schools start the earliest.  There’s not a lot we can do about this except encourage healthy sleep habits to make the most of the sleep they’re getting.
2. The average teenager requires 8-10 hours to be fully rested. (7-11 may be appropriate for some.)
3. Put the phones away.  I often have teenagers tell me they can’t fall asleep at night.  My first question is, “Where is your phone?”  More often than you would believe, the answer is “under my pillow.”  Can you imagine this?!  Maybe make a household rule: all phones charge overnight in the kitchen?
4. Again, I stress the importance of a consistent and calming bedtime routine.  I understand that many teens are busy with sports, clubs, instruments, theater, volunteering, jobs and homework every night after school.  However, if participating in all these activities comes at the expense of a basic and biological need – sleep – then maybe cutting down on the number of extracurricular activities would be appropriate.

Check out the following link for a great reference on how much sleep your child needs.

I need a nap.